Bum at the Intersection
A few months ago I didn’t bring a lunch or bring cash to get food at the cafeteria at my workplace, so I drove off the campus for lunch. Weaving in and out of traffic of old businessmen, I headed toward the mall that was nearby. At the last intersection I stopped at a red light. Across on the sidewalk was a friendly bum who waved at people and held a sign that said, “So broke it hurts”. I sympathized with the man, but alas, I had no change. The light turned green and I went into the parking lot of the mall.
About once a week I’d hit up the mall for lunch. It was a nice change of scenery; and fun to people watch. The bum was on that corner every time I drove by; a smile on his face, waving and throwing peace signs at people. I noted to myself that he never really looked that dirty. Strange, but I shrugged it off.
It’s been months later and today I drove past the intersection and there he was again; with that stupid sign, that idiotic grin, and that pseudo friendly waves and peace signs. Some poor sap pulled over and gave the man some money.
It’s infuriating that this asshole is taking advantage of people’s goodwill to sustain himself. He’s so broke it hurts. He’s so broke he can’t make any effort to improve his situation. Nah, he’ll just stand on that corner everyday and wave at cars passing by and give that imbecilic grin. He’s so broke that he has a change of clothes everyday and stays pretty clean.
He’s far from malnourished. I’m sure the only thing that hurts is his feet from standing all day taking money from suckers. Every time I pass by, I’m very tempted to flip him off. I’m above that though. I’ll just tell him that if he’s gonna work the corner, he should go all the way and enter prostitution. I’m sure that there’s a fetish for old, “homeless” men. Until then, I’ll just passive-aggressively glare at him.
What Was She Thinking?
I sat at my desk, relaxed while I browsed the web. Just before I could turn on music, Christian knocked on my door.
“Yes?” I replied as I opened the door.
“Hey, are you hungry?” asked Christian.
“Maybe. Why?” I sarcastically replied.
“I’m hungry and want to get dinner. “
I sighed. I really didn’t want to get up after getting comfortable. After some hesitation, I answered back.
“What time did you want to go?”
“Right now?”
“Alright, let me get my shoes,” I apprehensively replied.
“Okay. I’m gonna go check out the backyard.”
For the duration of the day the construction workers have been working on the backyard. Today they put up the new fence and Christian hadn’t looked at it yet. Christian ventured into the backyard while I remained in my room and tied my shoes. He passed by my opened window and spoke.
“Oh, wow. They really are done with the fence.”
“Yeah, man. It’s exciting. We’re finally gonna have a good backyard,” I commented as I got up from my chair.
We got in Christian’s car and began our drive to get dinner. We hit a stop sign and a girl on a motorcycle drives by. She wore a small top and what looked almost like pajama pants. She wasn’t wearing a helmet. My eyes stayed locked on her.
“Wow . . . what the hell is she thinking?” I commented.
Right after I spoke, a police cruiser did a U-Turn in the direction of the girl. Christian gleefully began laughing at the girl’s plight; after all, the situation is entirely her fault. She pulled over and the cop came out of his car while we passed by; Christian still in hysterical laughter.
After we bought dinner, we drove back home. We reach the street the girl was pulled over and she’s still there. A man who looked to be her boyfriend stood by her side. She looked like she was on the verge of tears while the cop wrote her a ticket.
Who would be stupid enough to do that? Why do some people have such blatant disregard for their safety? I could only hope that she gets her license revoked and her motorcycle taken away. In the meantime I’ll just look back and continue to laugh at her idiocy.
Running Man Eric
Throughout the night Eric was taking shots left and right during the Superbowl. At the end we continued the festivities of drinking. During this, Eric went to use the bathroom. He got out, then David went in. Seconds later, David came out.
“What the hell? Did Eric pee on the floor?”
“Nah, man!”
I accompanied David in the bathroom where we C.S.I’d that shit. We took toilet paper and carefully applied it on the little puddle and discovered that it was a little yellow. We showed our findings to Mark who went out in the living room to share the verdict.
“Eric! What were you thinking? That’s a shot!”
“Nah, man. You got the wrong guy,” Eric retorted while he walked closer to the font door with his beer in his hand.
“Dude! It was you! Take a shot!”
“It wasn’t me!” Eric yelled while he got even closer to the door.
A few of us walked closer to Eric while he inched away. Suddenly, Eric threw his beer at us, pulled the front door open, and ran. It was 15 minutes later that we realized he had no intention of coming back; he abandoned his car.
Eric — wherever you are — keep running, my crazy friend; there’s still a shot waiting for you.
Hate Crime Law
In Michigan, a Christian group filed a lawsuit claiming that the package of Matthew Sheppard hate crime laws are intended to remove their beliefs.
Of course this is tinfoil-hat bullshit, but it only gets better; Richard Thompson of Thomas More Law Center writes:
“The sole purpose of this law is to criminalize the Bible and use the threat of federal prosecutions and long jail sentences to silence Christians from expressing their Biblically-based religious belief that homosexual conduct is a sin.”
Either Mr. Thompson doesn’t know that the package of crime laws does not apply to freedom of speech; or he believes that violence and murder towards homosexuals is a valid and socially acceptable expression of Christian faith.
It’s appalling when someone twists a religion to fit their platform of hate towards people they don’t approve. Thanks, fanatics, for making the rest of us look bad.
Battlesnow Caralatica (Part 2)
It’s been two days and the blizzard finally relented. Ivan and I walked along the side of freshly paved roads. We reach where we thought the cars were, but we didn’t recognize anything. We found ourselves in a parking lot.
“It’d be pretty funny if we abandoned our cars here,” I told Ivan.
Nevertheless, we gave up and we headed back to the cabin. We informed the others that we couldn’t find the cars, so Tim offered to come with us to find them. We again hiked along icy roadsides and headed for the parking lot.
“Holy shit . . . .”
Up front and center of the parking lot are two, six feet piles of snow. Somehow we miraculously abandoned our cars in a parking lot. With shovels in hand, we dug. We worked in shifts to keep things continuous – there was still snowboarding to be had. Raul and I began one of our morbid conversations.
“I’d bury a puppy in snow as my present for my kid. He’d hear it whimper and I’d say, ‘You better start digging before your present dies’” said Raul.
I replied, “And already have a blank tombstone and a plot in a pet cemetery already taken care of, just in case your kid is too damn slow.”
Bystanders walked by and gave us odd looks while we dug. Mark suddenly went insane and began to sing screamo.
“I hate my life! My girlfriend left me! I want to die!”
It didn’t end there. He switched gears and sang country.
“My wife left me; my dog died; I’m drinking whiskey.”
As we dug, a roadside worker walked over to see how we’re doing, and imparted us with a little story.
“I lived here all my life and this is seriously the worst snowstorm we’ve had in over 20 years.”
Of course it was our luck to think that we could drive through some snowfall, but no, it was a full-on blizzard. We were snowed in on the mountain. Trapped. And no one was able to get on the mountain too. We worked diligently and got one of the cars free. We had a brief celebration and went straight to work on the second car. We were men on a mission; we still wanted to snowboard despite all the hard labor we’re going through.
We successfully freed the second car and brought them back to the cabin. Half of us booked it to the slopes and realized that there will be hardly anyone riding – people who wanted to get on the mountain couldn’t. The powder was fresh and the place felt empty. It was a night of riding that we rightfully deserved.
Battlesnow Caralitca (Part 1)
The blizzard completely covered the roads, so Mike directed Ivan with GPS. We were confident that we would reach the cabin despite the visibility being nearly nonexistent.
Moments later we were outside the car in the blizzard. We tried to move snow from the wheels of the car but the snow is falling faster than we can dig. Behind us in another car, Mark tried to back up so we could try moving our car back and forth to get it moving again — he became stuck too. We got in front of Mark’s car and pushed while he pressed the gas.
“Monica!”, screamed Mark while the wheels spun in the snow.
It was no use; both cars were stuck. We formed a group of volunteers from both cars and started our trek through the snowstorm. We jogged until we were above knee-deep in snow and slowed our pace to not burn out too fast. The wind slowed us down but we pushed forward until we reached the cabin. The warmth greeted us and tempted us to settle.
In the cabin Raul threw his wet shoes in the dryer while Mark and I made calls. Mark’s car was insured to be towed out of the snowstorm; mine wasn’t, though it was insured if there’s damage due to the snow. Weird. We kept the others in the cars updated on the situation despite the reception on our phones going in and out. No tow truck wanted to come out; the storm was too much.
We devised a plan and set things in motion. Raul grabbed his shoes that were still wet and we went out the door. Tim drove Raul and I as close as possible to the others without losing a third car; we hiked the rest of the way. The blizzard worsened and stung our faces and lungs as we pushed on. The visibility caused us to constantly bump into each other and patches of ice made us constantly slip. We reached the others and grabbed all our bags and hiked our way back to Tim. We made them go in the car to drive back to the cabin; we were going to walk back, but Tim rolled down his window.
“I’ll drop them off and pick you guys up,” he informed us.
He drove off, and instead of waiting, we walked back to the car and grabbed a few more things that were left. As we walked to where Tim was going to meet us, I turned back to look at our abandoned cars — the snow was overtaking them; they were almost completely covered. The snowstorm won.
Oh, Rain
At my family’s I grabbed all my bags, went out the front door, and I was suddenly in the wind and rain. I hurriedly went through their gate and approached the stairs; on the lower level were the aisles . There’s a few areas I can hop through to keep from swimming. I walked down the stairs and see a little girl holding a broom and playing in one of the apartment lakes. It was so surreal that it made me forget my first plan . . . I was ankle-deep in water.
“Nooooo!” I exclaimed.
The little girl started to laugh at me. I waded through the pool I found myself in and softly cursed myself. On the bright side, I didn’t drown.
Again?!
I once again neglected my blog. I’m a horrible person. Or am I? Anyway! Happy New Year’s to all. I’ve been so busy with moving into my place and finally settled. That and new responsibilities at work. Fun times. This time I won’t make any promises. I’ll probably write again . . . next year!
I have a blog? (Redux)
Whoops! It’s been a while since I wrote on here. I apologize to the -5 readers; I’ve been busy. I’m working on 3 projects at once and it’s amusing every time I switch gears since there’s a stark contrast between them. There’s also the little thing about moving next month; which I’m preparing for. Exciting. I only hope that my new commute to and from work will be pleasant. Traffic jams aren’t very fun. Unless of course there’s a yuppie with his windows rolled down and loudly singing off-key. Then it’s just comedy. Once a topic catches my eye, I’ll be sure to report back with my inane commentary.
Please Help: A City Serene
My friend’s band was in a horrific car accident days ago. They’re all in terrible shape. Please pray for them and their families. Go to this link for details: http://www.myspace.com/acityserene
If you can, please donate.
They’re wonderful people and we all want to see them back on their feet again. This is just devastating.
